Monday, April 27, 2009

Rivers and Rivers

Oy, vey! Last night’s “Celebrity Apprentice” once and for all demolished any shred of respect I had for Joan Rivers. After clinger-on daughter Melissa was voted off, in a somewhat surprising decision, I thought that I would enjoy the ensuing meltdown. But as the drama unfurled, and Melissa threw a tantrum that surpassed even reality-show standards, my sh├Ądenfreude-driven glee soon turned to discomfort as disturbed mother Joan joined her ousted daughter in a shameless breakdown. It actually became downright disturbing. Profanity-laden, personal attacks erupting as Rivers and Rivers furiously scrambled to make the most dramatic angry exit possible; screaming at P.A.’s to GIVE THEM THEIR F'ING PURSES RIGHT NOW, and explosively informing segment producers there would NOT be an exit interview NO F’ING WAY!!! Sheesh! The funny thing is, the pair acted as if this was actually a real job! Don’t they get to go back to their lives and their “real” careers now?

Over the last few weeks, Mama Rivers really seemed to lose it as the game went on. For some reason she became fixated on poker champ Annie Duke, who skillfully used her poker-playing acumen to do amazingly well in the game. Madame Joan increasingly leveled personal attacks on Ms. Duke, becoming more nasty and vitriolic as the show went on. I’ve witnessed cut-throatedness, and personal vendettas on this show before, but never to the level of almost psychotic fixation that Ms. Rivers was displaying. It had gotten to the point of being pathetic, and it was soon obvious a complete meltdown was imminent. I’m not sure whose idea it was to put these two together on the show anyway, as I’ve blogged about before. Especially when they were placed on opposing teams. Joan could not restrain herself from overprotecting her daughter, and this led to a somewhat compromised team loyalty. And then poor Annie Duke! She became Joan’s white whale. While definitely as cut-throat and scheming as you’d expect from a million-dollar poker champion, Annie never acted the Hitler, whore, bottom-feeder, scum, slime, and all other epithets Ms. Joan accused her of being. Every other contestant knew this show is a game, and the ousted took their oustings with grace and sportsmanship—including my favorite, the kute Khloe Kardashian. Joan took this game way too seriously, and gave no regard to how petulant, petty, and just plain nuts she came across to the viewing audience of approximately 20 million.

Now, Melissa… Hmmmm. I’d have expected Mama Joan to throw out her dignity and treat us to a huge tantrum, but I really didn’t expect Melissa to blow the gasket like she did. Now I do see that she is truly her mother’s daughter. I watched as she tried vainly to keep her cool, but with each second her anger overtook her. She even broke the cardinal rule of snapping off on Donald Trump (gasp!) in the boardroom, and subsequently scurried out the door, cursing everyone as she went. Joan followed her out—porting about six shopping bags and totes, looking like she was going down to 5th avenue to finish her shopping. I’d like to say I’m gonna miss the drama of having these two on the show, but I really won’t. The creepiness factor has been finally eliminated (at least one element), and the last contestants can now finish out the game with competitiveness and good, clean cut-throatedness. (Unless Jesse James punches out Clint Black—fingers crossed!)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

What a day I had...

I had some chest pains, and my doctor told me if that happened, go straight to the E.R. (not the TV series) so I got to the hospital at 7:00 am, and didn't get out til 2:30 pm! And I was stabbed and drawn blood from like six times! BUT, when I got really hungry, they did feed me. It was the 'cardio" plate, and it was pretty good—the Jello™ was superb! Finally, they let me go. All-in-all it was not a bad experience. The prison I work at sends our inmates there, so I actually saw some of the correctional officers I knew from A-yard, so we BS'd for a minute. And I gave huge kudos for my E.R. doctor, and nurse Jen, too. both of them were super cool! Not having quite enough of the hospital setting, I came home and watched a "Scrubs" re-run. Yay!
(I really feel like a cold beer right about now. Would that be a bad idea? Hmmmm...)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I couldn't take it any longer!

I had to call in sick from prison this morning. I was feeling crappy, and I was still pissed at not getting my scheduled day off, and I think that made my blood pressure go redline. So I took the day off, and was thinking about going to the "Tea Party" in Fresno, to show support for my fed-up tax-paying fellow citizens. But I didn't. As a Libertarian, I'm all for the protest. If I felt better, I really would've gone. Anyway, I think it's a great thing they've done, and I hope it sends a message to the current regime. I'm just gonna drink a shot of Nyquil™ and fade off into Happy Dreamland...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tuesday kinda sucked...

Man, all I can say is, I was supposed to be off today. I switched my day off so a co-worker could attend a wake, and the powers-that-be made me jump through hoops and finally gave me Friday off to make up for it. THEN they didn't even let my friend off to go to her wake anyway!!! After all that!!!
So the morning started out sucky. the usual--all work, 100% hassle--finally lunch came. After lunch, it did turn around after I held my counseling group. My awesome clients brought me back from despair! So now I'm home, and it's my Tuesday ritual--Heinekins and Idol. Yay! My prediction-- So long, Anoop!

Monday, April 13, 2009

My Zillion-Dollar Idea!




OK, As I was watching an old Queen concert from Wembley Stadium 1986, I came up with an amazing idea, that I think will be, as the kids say--"da bomb!" Basically we need the remaining Queen guys to re-form, and get American Idol contestant Adam Lambert to be the new lead singer, as a half-decent replacement for Freddie Mercury. It would be perfect! And ya just know Adam would love the whole theatrical gig, plus the vocal stylings! Someone call Brian May! get Roger Taylor and John Deacon! Let's make this thing happen!!!
Remember, you first heard it from your ol' pal Shoehead...