Sunday, June 27, 2010

Decisions, decisions...

Last night's bruhaha only got worse when the landlord found out I was baby-sitting Cowgirl for my wife while she's in the hospital. I have a 2 dog max, and I understand that. I'm just too good-natured, and was trying to help my wife out, and since the landlord's out of town and took her dogs, I didn't think a couple days would be a big issue. I discussed it with the landlord's son, who is de facto house manager while the boss is on hiatus, but after the other tenants ratted me out, and Cowgirl's temporary presence was discovered, I'm on thin ice again!
I really don't enjoy being in Fresno (nothing against the raisin capitol, but it's just not me) my marriage is just about flatlined, I can't get any kind of work here, I have almost no friends here; it begs the question: WHY AM I HERE???
My family and close friends beckon me in Richmond VA, my brother's living the Life of Riley in the sun in San Diego, I have solid film connections with offers in three major cities--nice cities, too--WHAT AM I DOING IN FRESNO????
This current housing arrangement was temporary to begin with, and while the landlord's son assures me that I'm not on the chopping block, damage has been done. The circle of trust has been breached. Now, landlord doesn't trust me, and I don't trust the other tenants. I'm not comfortable in my domicile. When my dogs bark (they are dogs, of course) I get all tensed up. I don't think a situation like this can sustain itself very long. It's a shame, cuz the place is pretty nice! But my issues with the present situation are far larger than the apartment. What am I doing stuck in neutral like this? I'm not living, I'm breathing. YOU MUST HELP ME, OBI-WAN. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!!!

2 comments:

Peter P. Smith said...

hmmmmmm i have some ideas :)

Greta said...

"The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."